Mountain Goats Shirt Song (also referred to as Going to the Merch Table or simply T-Shirt Song) is an unreleased song by the Mountain Goats.


Please buy the shirts
The shirts are so nice
You'll look stylish
In your Mountain Goats shirt
Ooh ooh ooh

People see you walking down the street, they say
Who's that handsome person
In the Mountain Goats shirt

You will seek out your family who you haven't seen in ten years and you're kinda worried how the whole thing's gonna go
And you show up at the door and they say God
It's good to see you
In your Mountain Goats shirt

After the College of Cardinals was done voting
And it was announced that Cardinal Ratzinger, who leans rather far right, was gonna be the new Holy Father for better or worse
He could've made a better first impression on the world media
In his Mountain Goats shirt

So if you're lonely
Or shirtless
Stop by the merchandising table and check out Mr. Vanderslice
He's attractive and I hear he's available
And he's got a whole table full of Mountain Goats shirts 

Comments by John Darnielle About this SongEdit

Things Referenced in this SongEdit

  • "Mr. Vanderslice" is most likely John Vanderslice, the Mountain Goats' producer.
  • Cardinal Ratzinger was Pope Benedict XVI, the pope of the Catholic Church from 2005 to 2013.

Live Shows this Song Was Played atEdit

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