Until I Am Whole


Transcendental Youth




the Mountain Goats



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Until I Am Whole is the sixth song on the album Transcendental Youth.


Sunset on Snohomish
Burn the tree line down
Hold my hopes underwater
Stand there and watch them drown
Fishing out their bodies
From the bathroom sink
Leave them in a bucket
Til they start to stink

I think I'll stay here
Til I feel whole again
I don't know when

Trout swim past the fishing lines
Sky gets dark and close
Cars start up and make
Their nightly exodus
On a picnic bench alone
Watch the sky go dark
Dig my nails into my hands
Hope it leaves a mark

I think I'll stay here
Til I feel whole again
I don't know when

Comments by John Darnielle About this SongEdit

  • “It’s about a person you know who is struggling with the sort of depression that prevents you from taking care of yourself. And I thought well that’s something I have direct experience of.” (Live Gig Pre-September 2012)
  • "the yoga of self-mutilation" -- 2013-03-04 - WTF with Marc Maron Podcast
  • “This is a song about self harm.” (Northampton, 2017-11-8)

Things Referenced in this Song Edit

  • Snohomish is a city in northern Washington.

Live Shows this Song Was Played atEdit

Videos of this SongEdit